Life in my tummy

On March 11th, 2009 the Dao family lost one of the most important lady ever. My grandmother. She was 87. It's been hard coping with the lost of grandma but each day gets better. During her passing we had most of our family together. One uncle was driving up here from Kansas with my cousin Sue and they were here for less then 24 hours. I'm sad that I was unable to see them for that short time they were here. The other uncle Chu Anh passed backed in 1997. My grandma is now with him watching over the rest of us. Just being with my entire family felt so nice and it made me proud to be a Dao. I'm hoping that we spend more time with each other now instead of once a year. What's weird is that most of my family live up the street from me yet I only see them once a year. I think this is grandma telling everyone that FAMILY IS IMPORTANT and we all need to see each other more.
On the first day of prayer service the Buddhist monk (my family is Buddhist) was saying that for my grandmother to pass peacefully, we should try and be vegetarians for 49 days. 2 of my aunts had already started, my dad was saying he could not be a vegetarian, and my sister and I agreed that we would be vegetarians for 49 days. At times I want to quit and eat meat but I remind myself that this if for a good reason. It's for grandma. I'm sure she's proud of Tran and I.
I'm grieving still. I have my moments but I keep those moments to myself. I can't help but miss her. We may not have been close but that's grandma. When I saw my grandmother for the last time it broke my heart just seeing her laying there in bed. I remember holding hands with her while my aunt woke her up. My aunt would tell my grandma to wake up because I was there. My aunt then asked if she remembered my wedding day and asked her to remember how fun it was. I sat there choking up but smiling at the same time. My grandma opened her eyes to look at me like my aunt had asked and then she squeezed my hand before she closed her eyes again. I would like to think that she saw me and that she knew I was there. It still hurts me thinking about that moment but it also helps me remember that I am at peace that she is now gone. I think grandma knew it was her time. I miss her tremendously.